After a bit of a mental hiatus, D. Layne In Perspective comes back to you with a renewed fervor in love. With a rejuvenated sight line on life and batteries fully charged, I come back to you with hopes of opening your eyes to something that is important to me, definitely to relationships and, hopefully, to you by the time your eyes hit my signature. Of course, I’d like to dig into relationships as we normally do, however I want to explore one of the major facets that people often forget about while in the trenches together, Individuality.

Most would look at me like the proverbial loonbag when I tell them that it will be their unique individuality that will be the one of the strongest lynch pins responsible for holding their relationship together.  However, Only when I explain it in depth is when that flash to bang, Eureka! moment happens and their face lights up like a child that has just learned the difference between there, they’re and their.

Individuality can be defined as a distinctive or unique character or personality, the qualities that distinguish one person or thing from another, and or the state or quality being a separate entity. In my opinion, one of the major downfalls of today’s modern relationship is that people end up being too much alike. While a goal of in a relationship should be to grow into a cohesive unit, that does not mean that we should completely lose sight of who we are as an individual and a ton of us out there do exactly this. Others fall into stereotypical thought processes of trying to ‘change’ the person they’re with, which is an asinine concept in and of itself. It’s kind of a contradiction to date someone or even marry someone and then try to make them something completely different.  You may as well just find someone with the qualities that you’re actually looking for, trust me, your hill will be much less steep. People sometimes fall into each other so much that, in the end, many times people winding up losing sight of some of the best parts of themselves.  In turn, significant others seem to either get bored, or end up resenting their significant others because they end up looking at themselves in a cracked and distorted mirror.

While relationships are wholely based of the bond between two people, we need to more often recognize the importance of that unification being forged as a cohesion that is comprised of two individual vibrant souls. In other words, it takes two to tango.  Yet how long can you dance your sexy dance? As lovers we cannot help what characteristcs or whom we fall in love with, but when do you stop strutting your peacock feathers? A better question should be WHY should you stop?

While trying to shed your negative aspects and harness the power of the positive, make it a point to remain that vibrant soul that captivated your lover in the beginning. Hold on for dear life to the important parts of you that the other person fell in love with. I simplify this because love, to me, is the most empirical force that the world has to offer us and we make it more difficult than is has to be.

If you don’t know what those things are that your significant other loves, I will give you a sure fire way to find out. Listen – Close your mouth for a second and open your “gat-damned” ears. Pay attention to the moments in your head that say, “Why is he gazing at me like that? I’m just talking about how much I love sky diving.” Those are usually the moments that he’s thinking, “Damn, I love this woman.” However in the age of the social network, Homo sapiens, or “knowing man” have lost much of their keen sense of the nonverbal cues that can save our lives and save our love.

And I’m not saying that you need to be sky diving until you’re 65, the rabbit hole goes deeper than that. I’m saying never let the light of your individual spirit die. The light may change color, may grow brighter or more dim with time…but do everything you can to hold onto that light. Hold on to the best parts of you and never let them go, rage against the dying of the light.  You and your relationship will be better for it in the long run.

I’m D. Layne, that’s my perspective and I’m sticking to it. Thanks for reading and welcome back.