Hello Lovers,
It has been some time since I hit you guys with a blast from D. Layne In Perspective. The topic that I shall tackle today deals with the question that burns in the mind of every lover, friend, homie, sibling, and parent. The inspiration for this was spawned by this quote from Anais Nin sent to me by a friend earlier this day. “I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don’t mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don’t mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding.”

While I found this extremely interesting that a woman/person could speak of submission to another with such strength. It dawned on me that this type of submission in a relationship is rather frowned upon in our society today, for men or women to embrace. And I, just as most of you have been trained by society to believe that we are strongest while standing alone. We as lovers are forced into this ideology of singularity as the only form of power. From a feminists perspective, this is understandable due to the relationship follies of a patriarchal society construct that the American culture sells to us. The ideals of feminism has had to fight for the right to claim space in other arenas besides motherhood and a gatherer.

I assume that today we live in a culture that has turned or forced our women into being hunters, almost more than men are. And or fighting for survival…It seems today that the idea of submission to love or sex in our society is Taboo, for either gender. So ask yourselves lovers…Who wears the pants in your relationship, or should I say who wears the skirt? And is it so wrong to accept our own gender roles inside of relationships. Is it wrong for us to accept opposite gender roles to alleviate the pressures on our spouse that are imposed upon us from society.

I believe that we should be able to fully embrace being a man or woman in the relationship, however be flexible enough to take on, as well as, accept the opposite gender roles as needed for the good of our relationship. To be amorphous, if you will. To be water, as Bruce Lee would have so eloquently put it.

“Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend.”

What we as lovers should take from this is that we don’t at all times need to adhere to our gender roles as Manly Men or Demure Women. Be whatever it is that your significant other needs at the time, and trust them to do the same when you need it. Trust me, you will need it.Be water lovers…Be water. That’s my perspective, and I’m sticking to it.

~D. Layne~