Okay lovers,
So it’s been a long time, I shouldn’t have left you…without a dope…You get the picture. Hope all is well with life, love, and the pursuit of free choice out there. My apologies for that, however I had some business to deal with before I could get back to you all.

As Steve Harvey would say, WELP…NOW THAT WE GOT THAT OUT THE WAY.

Today, I’d like to tackle the effects of Social Networks on Relationships. This topic seems to be a phenomenon of our generation. Is there a loss of the brick and mortar of relationships lost through social networking schemes, or has social networks helped people that are less outgoing to feel out the rest of the world without the fear of dying a humiliating and defeating death of rejection in the real world?

For ages, we’ve heard the old addage that Chivalry is Dead, yet we don’t know who killed it. I’m almost certain that the information superhighway has had a hand in chivalry’s demise. For almost more than a decade it has been immensely easier for men and women to contact each other through; text, chirp, IM, email, etc. This broadens the playing field to no end. How many of you lovers out there have had a text-war, email scrap, or and IM-battle? I know I have, and most times have not come away unscatched. Indeed, the pen is mightier than the sword. Might I add that most times messages are misinterpreted due to the loss of non-verbal cues. However, once things are said and done, or typed and done, the damage is already laid out.

I believe the surge of social networks has lead to the loss of several important factors that are key to the survival of a relationship. For instance, the courting process has been thrown off by the succession of e-relationships. Lovers, you will be hard pressed to find another person that will stick to the old Jedi ways of the courting process; formally asking a person out on a date, flowers, cards, candy. Courting in this age of social netwroking is truly a lost art and has been reduced to; friending, poking, tweeting, retweeting, etc. There is a certain loss of human interaction. That…is for sure.

There is also level as to which we manage our relationships through these social networking worlds. One can update the entire world on the status of their relationship; married to…, engaged to…, in a relationship with…, it’s complicated…, etc. On one hand people can use this to blast to the public, to our people, to whomever, that we are what we are. Though if used in a negative manner, this status can be devastating to a relationship. We have all been witness to such events, if not victims to it in this day and age.

I always find it fascinating how users of the social network may use this relationship management as a tool to mainipualte, breakup, etc. Status messages, which is the entire premise of Twitter, yet only a piece of other networks, are often a way for people to blurt out feelings, often being validated by their peers. These too can be used to build or destroy relationships, as people often use them for negative business.

I also often wonder if the psychological concept of “poking” on Facebook was a derivative of 4th grade hitting in small children to show that they like someone. This gives us a feasible way to flirt with those we are interested in without giving too much of ourselves. Here we have a non-verbal sense of attraction that can be pushed across the table without ever having to touch another human being. I find this most interesting because all tactile learning from human interest to human interest is lost.

However, all is not lost, we can rage against the machine, literally. The next time you think to text that love interest, call them. As opposed to sending a message to ask how they are doing, ask them to meet up for coffee and ask them in person. There is no flash-to-bang thoery here, and no transformative process that can be attained through lessening human contact. Trust me on this one. Chivalry will rise from it grave, oh yes. And when it does, Cupid will be locked and loaded for us all.

So lovers out there, before your next status message, your next tweet, or your next IM…Think of what it may be doing to your relationshipwith that person. Maybe the phone company had it right all along. Reach out and touch someone.

Until next time,
Find the Love.

D. Layne